>Be Anon, and right now you're-
>"Baking!"
>Pinkie yells out as she rears back and lands with her hooves on the counter
"Yeah Panka, we are."
>"It's not 'Panka' silly, It's Pinkie."
>You don't respond and instead boop her and ruffle her mane.
>She scrunches, hard.
>It's pretty cute.
>You grab the tray of cookies you had just laid out and put it into the oven.
>You look into the oven to make sure everything was fine.
>You were over at the Sugar Cube Corner, that was temporarily closed due to [spoiler]kirinovirus[/spoiler]
>Pinkie had told you earlier "No mare is gonna want to be with a stallion who can't even cook something as simple as cookies."
>The Cakes had graciously allowed Pinkie to use their kitchen to give you baking lessons.
>According to Pinkie anyway.
>That's why you two had to wait until they left, and you weren't supposed to say anything to them about your private lessons.
>Wait a second, that doesn't sound right
>You stand up and ask her
"Hey, Ponk why are w-"
>She had gotten on top of the counter and smeared cookie dough on your face when you stood up
>You look at her.
>She looks at you.
>You both burst out laughing
>You grab the pink one and bring her close to you, spilling some flour over the both of you.
>"EEP!"
>Her face turns pinker than it already was
>You get wipe some of the cookie dough off of your face, and smear it on her nose
>While still giggling, she accidentally kicks the mixing bowl off the counter.
>Thankfully the dough didn't spill out of the bowl.
>You let Pinkie go and pick the bowl off of the floor.
>Ponk really is pretty great

----
 
>Nonny really is pretty great
>He doesn't care that you don't have your own house
>Or a good paying job
>Or that you spend most of your money on parties
>And also he makes your tummy feel funny whenever he's around|
>But
>He doesn't even know how to bake the basics
>It's like his father didn't teach him anything
>Though he is a fast learner
>He bends over to pick up the bowl you knocked over, and you get a great view of that booty.
>Wait, why do you care about his rump?
[spoiler]>And why can't you look away?[/spoiler]
>He says something, but you really aren't paying attention.
"Uh huh, That's great Nonny."
>"So you'll help?"
>Wait what?
"Uh... That sounds great!"
>"Thanks Pinka."
>What did you just agree to?
>You're distracted by a smell
>A very smelly smell
>It's smoke.
>It's smoke!
>Oh no!
>The cookies!
>They're burning!
"Anon! Oven!"
>"What?"
 
----

>Be green monkey
>You quickly went for the oven to get them out before they burned worse
>You reached in there and-
"FUCK!"
>You forgot a oven mitt retard.
>"Nonny!"
"I'm fine."
>You grab a mitt and take out the tray of burned mess and set it down on the stove-top
>As soon as you set it down Pinkie grabs your hand and inspects it.
>She looks on the verge of tears
>"You gotta be more careful Nonny, safety is important.
"I'm fine Penka."
>"This time, but what about next time?"
>You ruffle her mane
"You're pretty cute Panks."
 
 ----
 
>Dang him and his masculine wiles.
>DANG HIM!
>Momma warned you about colts.
>But did you listen
>Noooooo!
>And now
>NOW!
>Now, you're helping Anon move his new mattress into his house.
>A MATTRESS YOU MOVED ALL THE WAY OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE
>On the hottest day of the year
>In the middle of the day
>With no shade
>And now
>NOW
>Now the problem is, it's too big.
>You and him turned every which way possible
>AND IT JUST WON'T FIT
>IT'S JUST TOO CELESTIA DANGED BIG
>You're exhausted from messing around with it, and Anon looks how you feel.
>You're both soaked in sweat and sore from trying to force it in
>"Why the hell..."
>"are all the..."
>"fucking doors..."
>"so small..."
"'Cause ponies are shorter than you are"
>"shut up..."
>This is what you get for allowing a colt to handle it.
>You're pretty tired
>And hot
>And sore
>But a mares word is mares word dang it
>And you are gonna get that mattress in there.
>COME TARTARUS OR TORNADO IT'S GETTING IN THAT BUCKING DOOR
>You push it with all of your might, Anon helping the little bit a stallion can.
>AND
>It moved an inch
>Maybe.
>Is it finally starting to cool down is it just you?
>Wowzers, that took more out of you than you thought...

----
 
>Be tired and fucking sick of this shit
>This is all his fucking fault
>That fucking mattress salestallion
>"You're really tall, so you're going to need a bigger bed to fit you AND all your mares"
>Fuck that asshole
>And fuck this mattress
>And fuck the sun
>And fuck the summer
>And fuck that rainbow dyke for doing her job FOR ONCE on the EXACT goddamn day your doing this
>Fuck
>You need some water.
>And some AC
>BUT THERE'S A FUCKING MATTRESS STUCK HALFWAY IN THE DOOR
>FUCK
>And you, being the retard you are, always kept your back-door locked
>DOUBLE FUCK
>Living so far away from town, your closest neighbor is about a half-mile away
>TRIPLE FUCK
>WAIT
>HOLD ON
>You go to check the one of the windows of your living room
>"Hey Nonners..."
>Oh yea ponks is here
>She looks pretty tired
>"Whatcha doin'?"
>You should do something nice for her.
>She seems to be the only pony in this whole town who doesn't shy away from you.
>You're 'too tall' or something dumb like that.
>You'll give her a hug later or something.
>You tear the screen off the window and reach for the bottom
>You can feel the promised land of AC on your palms already
>"Nonners..."
"Yeah Penko?"
>"Can you get me some water?"
>You look at her.
>Like really look at her.
>She look foamy.
>And is it just you does she look less pink?
>Ahhh, must just be the heat getting to you
"I'll get us both water just you wait..."
>And...
>IT'S FUCKING LOCKED OF COURSE
>Pinkie literally collapses
>Damn, you kinda feel like an asshole for working her this hard.
>She's breathing kinda heavily...
>Oh shit, is she actually alright?

----
 
>be pony
>you're a tired pony
>you think you're gonna lay here for a bit
>yea, this is pretty nice
>"You alright there Panko?"
>"Panko?"
>"Pinkie?"
>"PINKIE!"
 
>be pony
[spoiler]>you know, the pink one[/spoiler]
>nonners said something loud
yea nonny?
>he boops you [spoiler]on the snoot[/spoiler]
>"Whaddya doing?"
>he pokes you again
"just laying here."
>he puts a hand onto your head
>"Jesus Christ Ponko, You're burning up."
>that can't be right, you're freezing
"ok nonner."
>nonny tries to move the mattress, and gives after a few moments.
>"Fuck this."
"noooooonnnny... you shouldn't use bad words like that."
>but he ignores you
>instead he grabs a rock from the ground
>and
>throws it at his own window
>ok
>you're just gonna lay here.
>on the ground, it's kinda comfy honestly.
>he takes of his shirt [spoiler]lewd![/spoiler] and wraps it around his claw.
>he knocks some of the glass out of the way, then starts to climb through the window.
"nooonnnyyyyyyyy..."
>"Yea Ponks?"
"can you carry me inside?"
>he sighs
>"Sure thing."

----
 
>You lift her and-
>JESUS CHRIST IS SHE HEAVY
>And you can feel that it's not [spoiler]all[/spoiler] chub
>She's probably got more muscle than you do.
>You hoist your favorite pink pony onto your shoulder.
>Heading inside through the hole where your window used to be feels like walking out of an oven [spoiler]OY VEY[/spoiler]
>"thanks nonner."
>You set Pinkie down on your couch.
>She whines a bit at that.

----
 
>You are now on a couch
>Nonny's couch
>You snuggle into the cushions to get more comfy
>It's pretty nice.
>But you're pretty thirsty.
>"Penks, here."
>Nonny brought you some water!
>He's so nice.
>You grab it and shove your muzzle into the glass.

----
 
>Pinkie is being silly
>She looks up to you, her face stuck half in a glass of water
>"Nonny help!"
[spoiler]>That's what you thought she meant to say, it sounded more like "nmnn mmMH!"[/spoiler]
>You chuckle at her antics
>You hold her forehead and pull the glass down off of it.
>Water splashes onto her face.
>She snatches the water from you, spilling a bit more and drinks it down in seconds.
>"Ahhhh"
>She slams the cup down on your coffee table.
"Were you really that thirs-"
>"Nonny look!"
>She points to your blocked doorway.
>The mattress, which you and ponk have been trying to get inside for HOURS, was being blocked by
>A
>FUCKING
>DOORKNOB
>FUCK
>FUCKING FUCK
>FUCK FUCK FUCK
>FUCKING DOORS AND FUCKING FUCKING FUCK

----
 
>Nonny looks kinda mad.
>Ok, that's an understatement.
>He looks like he's about to pop a blood vessel.
>He's now screeching something about doors now.
>Seems Mama was right, colts always overreact about everything.
>You should probably do something about this.
>But you're gonna lay here for a bit longer.
>You're still a bit tired.
[spoiler]>Ok really tired.[/spoiler]
>Now he's bucking the door.
>That's it, time to act.
>You get up and walk over to him.
"Nonny, nonny, nonny, nonners, nonni-kun..."
>He stops long enough for you stand up on your hind legs and hug him around the waist.
"You can't just yell at problems and expect them to go away. You gotta fix the problem first!"
>He looks down at you for a few seconds.
>You smile back with the best smile you can manage.
>This was a terrible idea, never tell a colt to calm down.
>He's just gonna yell louder but now at you.
>Right?
>Or mayb-
>He sighs, loudly.
>"Ya, know what? You're right Panks."
>He ruffles your mane with one of his claws.
>Wait, that can't be right...
 
 ----
 
>You two finally got it inside, somehow.
>And now
>Now the both of you have the luxury of getting it down a hallway and into another door at the end of the hall.
>But that can wait.
>Right now, you decide to lay down on it for a bit.
>And Jesus Christ is it comfy.
>It's like resting on a cloud that's also a water bed.
>It might actually be part cloud for all you know.
>Magic is weird.
>Once this shit is over you might finally have somewhere to sleep that isn't 40 years old and half metal.
>And maybe your neck won't hurt every morning.
>That'd be nice.
>Ponko is laying next to you.
>She looks pretty beat too.
>You look over to her
>And she's asleep.
>Well, you can't blame her.
>It's been a long day.
>And a nap does sound pretty nice.
>You grab Panks and pull her towards you.
>She whines a bit, but stays asleep.
>You fall asleep with her in your arms.
 
 ----
 
"Hmmmmmmmm..."
>This feels pretty nice.
>And warm.
>Wait, this isn't your bed...
>And WHO THE HAY IS THIS WITH YOU!!
>OH NO!
>OH NO! OH NO! OH NO!
>You really did it this time Pinkamena Diane Pie!
>You really bucked this up!
>You [spoiler]slept with a colt outside herdlock![/spoiler]
>What would Mama think?
>What would Papa think?
>WHAT WOULD GRANNYPIE THINK!?
>No, you can still make this right.
>YOU HAVE TO MAKE THIS RIGHT!
>And you're gonna do the only thing you can do, [spoiler]even though it's probably not the best idea ever.[/spoiler]
 
 ----
 
>Holy Hell, was that a good nap.
>Such a good nap, that it's now the next day.
>Panka left sometime before you woke up.
>After doing the morning ritual of shit, teeth, coffee and breakfast, you wake up enough to notice the the broken window.
>Fuck.
>After cleaning up broken glass, you now have an empty space where a window should be.
>Being the quadruple IQ genius you are, you decide the best course of action is to put up a bedsheet for now and deal with it later.
>Right now, your studying the note you found taped to your door.
>The inside of your door.
>Which was locked.
>How did sh-
>Oh right, window.
>Also, she was in here.
>You should drink more caffeine before thinking.
Anonnymouse, You're invited to a super-duper special party
for you, today, This afternoon! not at Sugarcube Corner because it's closed.
[spoiler]It's actually at Sugarcube Corner just don't tell anypony[/spoiler]
>You sigh.
[spoiler]>Fuck you Kirino-chan[/spoiler]
>You can't say no to Pinkie.
>You wonder what the super-duper special occasion could be?
 
 ----
 
>This is gonna be the bestest party you're ever gonna throw.
>It's not gonna be the biggest, or the loudest.
>You know Nonners doesn't like em like that.
>This is going to be the perfect party for him, and he's going to love it!
>You've invited all of his friends, [spoiler]which are just all of your best friends that you were going to invite anyway,[/spoiler] and you're gonna make it a night to remember!